Some notes about "Bondage Meditation" with Ron Hades at Karada House Berlin

The sound of a drum has a special quality: It is one of the only instruments - if not *the* most single instrument - that I feel cannot be captured on a recording: Sure, you can turn up the bass in your EQ, but the sensation of the vibration that resonates in your body when you're standing next to a drum that gets played... That is something truly remarkable, you get in contact with your body and in the same time are part of a connection to the instrument via sound waves you can actually *feel* and the person who is drumming. The beat not only hits the drum - it also hits your body. And it ties you to your surrounding area.

So yesterday, on November 16th the @KaradaHouse Berlin hosted a workshop called "Bondage Meditation" with rope master @ronhades. Eight attendees were exited to learn what the instructor, who comes from a long dynasty of shamans as he told in the beginning, hat to teach about the connection between bondage and meditation. Stripped of our names (only called by a self-chosen symbol written on a piece of tape on our chest) we would go through exercises in getting in contact with each other, understanding boundaries and accepting desires - and manifest the connection we slowly built up during the entire workshop through full-on *bondage ball* we all were a part of. Rope as the visible manifestation of the connection between human beings.

Ron - who chose the name △  during the workshop - is a person you immediately find sympathetic: With a warm and welcoming habitus and fun-loving sense of humor, this is basically the person you'd trust to pull of an 8 hour workshop on bondage with completely strange people. The key is that the anonymity we were supposed to keep did not prevent us from sharing ideas, desires, questions and stories - it rather encouraged that. You don't fall into small talk, when you're not supposed to ask where the person next to you comes from. That works surprisingly well and it's way more easy to start a conversation.

A fact I like about the Karada House is their approach to forming groups: A key factor in their concept of a safe space is that they recognize that most people simply cannot make friends in the first 5 seconds they enter a room but need more time, **especially** when what follows is an immensely personal experience with your own desires. You need to be able to trust the others in order to be able to feel safe. Whereas other workshops simply go "Now everybody look for a partner" and things get awkward almost immediately, Karada House starts off with small exercises you do together in a group and with changing partners. Sounds simple enough but actually is the crucial difference to other workshops I visited. 

So, back to the workshop: Right at the beginning △ surprised us with a ritualistic approach (and if you read my work, you know △ got me at this second). We were to write down what we wanted to loose during this workshop, what we wanted to overcome, what we wanted to ban from our souls. These writings were then placed in a small pot, which stayed in the room the entire time, and △ explained, that we would burn those notes in the end. Then we started meditating, laying on the floor with our eyes closed while the shaman filled the room with incense, wind and the aforementioned drum. 

After that unusual experience things went on much more familiar with the basics of bondage. In quick and easy steps △ showed us everything we needed to know in order to create enthralling rope work afterwards. Of course we had to change partners with every new exercise.

The second part of the workshop is were things got exhilarating: Now we knew each other well enough to make some serious contact exercises, touching each other at our hearts, breathing together, holding eye contact and really, **really** look into each others eyes. This is the point were things could have gone awkward if not horribly wrong, but thanks to △'s attentive and emphatic guidance it was actually nice and thrilling! How much simpler it was afterwards to tie up each other.

Because that is exactly what we did then: Now comes the bondage! Of course you know how to tie up somebody's hands or maybe knot a harness or two. You maybe even did some suspension once. But the approach △ told us, was not simply the joy of tying up your bunny - *everything* we did was in order to tie our counterpart *to* ourself, even literally. We used the rope to make a profound connection to another human being we didn't even know before and at no time during the entire workshop it felt wrong or even got out of hand, on the contrary: Looking around and seeing what unique and personal connections formed in the other participants was an experience of pure bliss: Everybody was allowed to express their feelings however they wanted and at no time were they negative. The one thing every combination of people had in common was the cuddling. We bonded.

I don't want to spoil the end for you since I'd encourage you to visit one of Ron's workshops yourself, but let me put it like this: The consequence of all that bonding (both senses of the word) is a deep connection to everybody in the room and through a final ritual we made that visible. 

In the end we stood on the courtyard of Karada House under a clear, star-filled sky and burned our sigils after letting go of a final breath on them. 

We all realized this was a step. Just a step, but an important step on the road to a shamanistic way of understanding bonds and bondage. And each other.

instagram.com/mr.ithaqua

"Being tied by  Ron was a profound experience, unsettling yet comforting, that brought together strength and vulnerability — both mine and (I felt) his — in a beautiful, harmonious exchange of energy.

Even if I am very new to shibari, I felt a unique combination of authority and caring, a perfect instinct for the right distance. It gave me a rare opportunity to think about my relationship to others, and mostly perhaps to myself.

It was a strong moment of meditation, contemplation of my own body — its limits, but mostly its possibilities, its memories and desires. Ron’s ability to connect through rope made me feel that he was reading the history of my body, and at the same time helping me write a new page."

Meine erste Bondage Erfahrung

Zunächst fühlte ich mich ein wenig unwohl jemandem wehrlos ausgeliefert zu sein. Allerdings war genau die Überwindung dieser Angst, neben einer gewissen Neugier, ein Hauptgrund warum ich mich zu einer Bondage Sitzung entschlossen hatte. Außerdem stellte ich nach dem mir Ron eine  Sitzung angeboten hatte fest, dass sich in mir eine gewisse Scham regte, wenn ich darüber nachdachte, wie andere wohl auf meine erste Bondage Erfahrung reagieren würden. Da ich mich von diesen Ängsten aber nicht leiten lassen wollte, sagte ich Ron kurzentschlossen zu an einer Sitzung teilzunehmen. An dieser Stelle möchte ich den Hinweis geben, dass es sich um reines Bondage, also Einschnürung ohne sexuellen Kontext handelte. Die Sitzung wurde mit einer entspannten Teezeremonie eröffnet, bei der mir Ron vom Ablauf erzählte. Über meine Angst davor mich hinzugeben sprachen wir ebenfalls, was mir sehr guttat und meine Nervosität kleiner werden ließ. Nach einer kurzen Meditation fing Ron an mir die Seile anzulegen, die trotz des festen Sitzes einen angenehmen Druck auf der Haut erzeugten. Ich sollte ihn alle Bewegungen führen lassen und keine Kraft aufwenden um in die nächste Position zu gelangen. Anfangs fiel es mir nicht so leicht, wurde aber mit der Zeit einfacher und ich konnte mich schließlich wirklich fallen lassen. Nach und nach schnürte er Arme und Beine ein und verband schließlich die Beine mit dem Oberkörper. Das Liegen auf dem Boden bereitete mir zunächst Schmerzen, die aber nach einiger Zeit vergingen, da es mir gelang diese einfach hinzunehmen. Ich hätte mich schließlich nicht in eine angenehmere Position begeben können. Aber genau diese Akzeptanz des Schmerzes und der Tatsache nichts ändern zu können ließen mich innerlich ruhig werden und ich fühlte, wie sich eine große Tiefenentspannung in mir aufbaute. In dieser finalen Position verbrachte ich einige Minuten, bis Ron nach und nach alle Stricke löste. Ich kann sagen, dass es eine sehr schöne und entspannende Erfahrung war, die man ausprobieren sollte. Das Gefühl die eigene Auslieferung während des Bondage zu akzeptieren kann eine sehr tiefe Entspannung mit sich bringen. Gleichzeitig war ich Stolz mich meinen Ängsten gestellt und mich auf die Erfahrung eingelassen zu haben. Außerdem war Ron zu jedem Zeitpunkt behutsam und respektvoll, was mir das Gefühl gab trotz meiner verletzlichen Lage sehr gut aufgehoben zu sein. 

I was quite new to the BDSM world, but I always had the interest and desire to try more.

        Even though I have random hookups just for "normal" sex, for things like these (bondage, impact play, sadistic play...) I never trusted anyone enough to try with them: as a novice sub, you really need to find someone that can make you feel safe and confident, that cares about your limits but also able to push you a bit further.

        That's the reason why I looked for a professional.

        After a small selection, I chose Ron: more than the look (don't get me wrong: he's a very handsome man), for me was important the attitude and the professionalism.

        After a nice chat online, we met at his place. I really appreciated that he took time to talk with me, asking about my previous experiences, my expectations, my desires and so on. It made me feel very confident, but it also made me very horny, because his presence and voice were gentle and strong at the same time: I could feel that he was already in charge, and that I could trust him and let myself go.

        I asked him not to go too further (it was my first "real" time), and he did everything I imagined. It was incredibly exciting and liberating.

        We met several times after that one, and every time he pushed the game further. I really like our sessions not only because it's a great sexual experience (I feel MUCH more relaxed after that!), but also because I learnt a lot about myself and my sexuality.

        Highly recommended

Master Ron is a true professional Dom. He communicates clearly and he responds in a reasonable amount of time. His studio is very well equipped, clean, attractive, professional and full of fun toys and equipment. I had a great time with him from beginning to end. He is an excellent communicator and he really takes time to plan the session together with you. He follows through on his promises and he adjusts things in a very intuitive way, while always maintaining control. Very sexy guy and so nice in person. His dominance is completely natural and I really enjoyed submitting to him. He makes you feel safe and knows how to find your red hot buttons. He may even help you discover some. I hope to see Master Ron again and I highly recommend him to anyone who is looking for a talented, sexy, professional Dom.

Unterwerfung-Schmerz-Lust -Sinnlichkeit

        Master Ron ist einzigartig! Er führt an die Grenzen von Schmerz und Lust, man unterwirft sich seinen sadistischen Phantasien, Gleichzeitig spürt man seine Nähe und Anwesenheit, fühlt sich sicher und aufgehoben. Schmerz und Sinnlichkeit, Nähe und Dominanz machen eine Sitzung zu einer unbeschreiblichen, einzigartigen Erfahrung. Er weiß intuitiv, was der Sklave braucht, fühlt sich ein und mischt dies mit dem eigenen Wunsch zu quälen,  bringt dann subs die Bedeutung von Schmerz bei.Fordernd und gleichzeitig sanft wird man an seine Grenzen geführt, zitternd vor Schmerz und Lust. Ein ekstatisches , geniales Erlebnis. 

        Wenn man gefesselt wird kann man nur loslassen und sich nur ganz hingeben, sicher und vertraut. 

        Ein riesengroßer Dankeschön an Master Ron für die Erweiterung meines Horizonts!